“The gigantic catastrophes that threaten us today are not elemental happenings of a physical or biological order, but psychic events. To a quite terrifying degree we are threatened by wars and revolutions which are nothing other than psychic epidemics. At any moment several millions of human beings may be smitten with a new madness, and then we shall have another world war or devastating revolution. Instead of being at the mercy of wild beasts, earthquakes, landslides, and inundations, modern man is battered by the elemental forces of his own psyche. C.G. Jung

It was a fascinating synchronicity in my life. As my house was pelted by thundering winds and layers of thick, unrelenting snow last week, rocks, bottles and bullets flew in Cairo. The inundation I experienced here in Chicago felt in some ways to be overshadowed by the revolution taking place in Egypt, and yet, in other ways the two events felt strangely aligned. I skipped back and forth between CNN and the Weather Channel, watching for a break in both relentless storms.

While elements of change ebbed and flowed from the heartland of the United States to the ancient sands of the Middle East, I couldn’t help but ponder the significance of an apparent web of momentous physical and psychic events occurring on our planet and in our consciousness.

I suppose I unconsciously took it for granted that folks in the Middle East were not willing to fight for their rights. Regime after controlling, oppressive regime in the Arab world seemed to have taken advantage of a few convenient scapegoats (the U.S., Israel, capitalism, Hollywood, “The West”) through the years, conveniently overshadowing their own horrible human rights violations, the economic rape and pillaging of their common citizens and the general manipulation of hearts and minds.

Over shadow is truly at the core of it, too. It takes a lot to blur the deep human longing for wholeness, joy and love and it relies upon an overarching, bloated shadow that swaddles our essential love for life in rags of doubt and resentment. The greatest tragedies in human history have typically occurred as a result of similarly monolithic entities who have successfully brainwashed the collective consciousness with a tribal cool-aid aimed at using our inherent desire to protect against ourselves.

Not dissimilar has been the environmental snow job on the planet…

The only thing that matters is our advancement. You want to protect our evolution as a species, don’t you? Then who cares about strip mining? Who cares about aerosol cans and light bulbs? Who cares about sucking the earth dry in a matter of a few hundred years what took millions to create? You want to be the best nation, don’t you? The strongest power? Drink, drink, it tastes like fruit punch…

The archetype of the wounded healer is one that has long resonated for me. The notion that in order to truly help others heal one must have done his or her own fair share of suffering and grown from it, i.e. placed the pain and near death experiences (physically and/or emotionally) into a constructive context, is probably the most potent response to “why bad things happen to good people.”

However, when an archetype is not expressed in a meaningful, transformative, dynamic way, it “loads up with energy and becomes inhuman” (Marie-Louise von Franz). I believe that is the situation we are facing on our planet these days.

Without transforming our collective suffering thus creating a sacred wisdom of the heart borne from pain, we risk the creation of something terrible and ugly in its place.

Without choosing to learn from our arrogance, immaturity and selfishness as a society we don’t really grow up as a species and end up retarding our psycho-spiritual development as well.

So many of us live our lives in a state of reaction to Life.

Many of us tend to believe that life is happening to us and that our best chance at attaining happiness is to take our lumps as best we can and hope for the best. Maybe we’ll win the lottery and all will be well.

I believe that all of us, you and I, have an opportunity in this life to not only be free, but to be in a state of peace and joy as well. However, in order to get to that place of peace, we require liberation. Liberation not necessarily from the physical chains that bind us or prisons we occupy; liberation from the thoughts and ideas that keep us trapped in disappointment, resentment and sadness.

Victor Frankl was an Austrian Jewish psychiatrist who spent much of the Holocaust in a concentration camp. Upon his physical liberation from that veritable Hell, he wrote about the process that kept him alive all those years in captivity. More than anything, Frankl suggested, the realization that even locked away in a concentration camp was he free provided the greatest awareness that fed a deep sense of empowerment. He became clear that no matter what anyone does to us, no matter our external circumstances, we always have the ability to choose our attitude.

(T)here is also purpose in that life which is almost barren of both creation and enjoyment and which admits of but one possibility of high moral behavior: namely, in man’s attitude to his existence, and existence restricted by external forces…. Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete. (1963, Man’s Search For Meaning, p. 106)

This sense of choice when it comes to our state of mind, our affect, and our response to the world is, at its core, our Liberation. The manner in which we answer the beauties and the challenges of life is what sets us free to joyfully dance to the pulse of creation in each heartbeat.

At its core, it is this choice which liberates us to Life.

What liberates you to your life? What thought, opinion, or decision frees you to make love to life as the sky makes love to the earth?

For days before the “Blizzard of 2011,” I interacted with a number of people from friends and neighbors to random strangers. Everyone seemed to have something to say about the storm.

Some were skeptical. “They don’t know crap about predicting these things. They never get it right…”

Others were apprehensive. “Geez, I’m not sure what I’d do with all that snow. I mean, I guess I’d be ok, right?”

Then, there were a surprising number of angry people. “”God, I need this like a need a hole in the head. Another damned storm. I hate this.”

Once in a while, however, I’d run into someone who seemed simply delighted by the prospect of being snowed in for a couple days. “I love it when we can watch all the white flakes flying across the sky from our warm window! And then we get to go play in it when the sun comes out!”

So, the storm came and went and yes, it was The Big One they expected it would be. While there were some real inconveniences for a small number of Chicagoans, most of us got home early enough before it hit, stopped at the supermarket for extra treats and grabbed a video to boot. When the sun came out, neighbors came out to cross country ski, shake their heads and smile and help each other dig out.

We survived. And how quickly we forgot about the feelings we had about the storm before it came…

One of the things I am so grateful to have learned in my time HERE is that my attitude really does matter. Not just for myself and for what I manifest for my personal well-being, but also for what I create for the people around me. I actually have an impact on the world whether I like it or not. Whether I choose to be conscious of it or not.

What a difference it makes in our world when we share hope, joy and excitement with those around us instead of fear, anxiety and anger. In fact, you have a unique gift to share with those around you in every situation, in every moment!

So, please remember this: The words you use matter. You matter. You matter to me.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you got to the point when it occurred to you that it might not be worth the work?

Probably, right? I mean, relationships take work! They can be HARD!

However, how does one determine whether a relationship has crossed that line of no return or whether it is our own resistance to moving through our quirky little pathologies and potential for growth?

Some important questions must be presented for each unique situation in order to properly assess and get clarity.

For starters, is the relationship one-sided? Am I always the one initiating contact, connection and closeness? Be careful, there is a difference between what feels this way and what is actually, factually this way! Sometimes we might feel that the other person hasn’t called in weeks yet a study of the old “missed calls” reveals a different picture.

Next, what is the pH level of this relationship? This is a scale from 0 to 14. A pH of 0 is acidic and 14 is base (alkaline) with 7 being neutral. Typically, we want to create slightly alkaline relationships but sometimes the toxicity shifts slightly to both sides of neutral. If your relationship feels acidic, it is likely that it is burning a hole through your sense of peace, however if it is so extremely alkaline then you are probably missing a bit of life!

Has this relationship ever changed? Have we grown as a relationship or are we exactly where we started? Even if we started in a great way, there is always potential to grow together! On the other hand, if the relationship feels like it has deteriorated over time with what used to be fun and easy feeling irritating, frustrating or tedious, then there is more work to do if this relationship will survive.

Finally, is this a nice relationship? Are we nice to one another? Do we wish the other person good things and support them in reaching their goals in life? Are we kind to ourselves in the relationship or do we beat ourselves up and feel worse after we meet? Do we feel compassion and love from the other person? If a relationship isn’t kind then it is destructive, simple as that. Either change your orientation within the relationship or purge it from your life!

There are always exceptions, especially when it comes to family. We typically lower the bar when it comes to family because many of our value systems consider maintaining familial ties more important than voluntary bonds. Still, there are certain familial dynamics that become so toxic that sadly the only solution is distance, even disconnection.

Whatever the case, I believe connection with others is close to the essence and purpose of being alive. Relationships are typically well worth the work, even the challenging ones!