What if I were to tell you that the majority of humans (hard to say whether this also occurs for squirrels) experience some degree of self-talk in the course of a lifetime? What is more, it is hard to imagine making significant changes if we don’t enter an internal dialogue that entails reflection, assessment and analysis.
So, it is true that there are different ways to speak to oneself with varying degrees of effectiveness and even different levels of love and compassion. Sometimes we get swept into the chaos and pain of our inner critic, the voice that is super quick to identify our flaws and shortcomings. Ouch. We all know this voice too well. On the other hand, many of us are also familiar with the inner cheerleader/ motivational coach. This voice is way more fun to chat with! The cheerleader asks open-ended questions and focuses on our strengths rather than our faults.
The inner coach focuses on our Primary Question, the dominant question that filters our conscious and unconscious processes and steers us back toward the guiding purpose of our life. The challenge for so many of us is that we so often fail to update and or assess our primary question so that we tend to operate under old or already attained goals!
Imagine if we had a personal trainer that constantly focused on our original goal of losing ten pounds….? We’d be frustrated over time and even though the coach may have great intentions and a positive attitude we’d be focused on something that was already established. Boring! Same thing with our internal coach. We have to make sure we constantly tweak our primary question as it serves as the True North as we move through our lives and steer ourselves toward ultimate fulfillment and joyous existence.
So, talking to yourself might be an AMAZING resource as long as the conversation IS RELEVANT, the goal is ATTAINABLE, and the process feels EMOTIONALLY INTENSE! It doesn’t hurt if your identity is also intrinsically tied to the question!
So, take some time today and get clear about your Primary Question! That way if you find yourself engaged in an internal conversation it is one that creates a BEAUTIFUL STATE of BEING for yourself and inspires others to do the same.