For many of us, the holiday season is a time to come together, share gifts and eat sweets. It can also be a time of intensified stress, old family patterns and unseemly reactions.
Hard to believe that a little Bing Crosby, Adam Sandler or Mariah Carey couldn’t soothe our exhausted adrenal glands and anxious antlers. However, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that at a time when we are encouraged to embrace the “Christmas Spirit” we are even more challenged to respond instead of react to the triggers in our midst.
And yes, you might be my trigger. Especially after three versions of Rudolph, a few Grandmas getting run over by reindeer, and yes, I know it is a white Christmas you’re dreaming of but can you stop bringing up Sarah Palin, please, please?
My dear sibling, parent, distant cousin, family friend, this or that twice removed…you may indeed hold the trigger I had hoped would remain dormant until dessert was served, the party ended or the wrapping paper re-folded and recycled. You have the unfortunate fortune of having unearthed the shadow to my light; the ugly beast that sleeps at my feet. I had really hoped you wouldn’t, but there you went and did it. The Kraken has been released.
Now I can feel the wheels turning and the gears grinding deep within, blood rushing to my cheeks and thoughts rapidly switching from innocuous banter to angry memories, projections, resentments and some minor homicidal fantasies. It’s easy to assume at this point that small children should be removed from the line of fire and Grandma’s special china be taken back to the kitchen.
But alas, no. Instead of letting the trigger take control of the situation and unleash it’s potential to steer the world down the path of a Jerry Springer show gone awry, use it as an opportunity to grow in ways beyond the waistline. The trigger is life’s invitation to confront our shadow and choose a response to it that creates the world we want to live in; a world we fashion from our ideals, our imagination, our hopes and dreams.
Adam Sandler, Bing Crosby, family, getting along, holidays, KRAKEN, Mariah Carey, Rudolph, SARAH PALIN, trigger
Jeffrey Sumber is changing the world, one relationship at a time. For over two decades, Jeffrey has worked to understand the human experience from as many angles as possible. As a successful psychotherapist, marriage counselor, and life coach, Jeffrey has worked with thousands of clients who strive to live their best lives.